Selfish Ambition or Service?

When I started this blog, the purpose was to attempt to write one devotional a week. What happened? The goal was displaced with holiday busyness and a personal desire to tell part of my story.

No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:24

Is that personal desire selfish ambition? Is it vain conceit, boastful, or self-seeking? These are the questions I asked myself this morning.

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25

Being a generous person who builds up others is the type of person I long to be. Sharing how God has strengthened me in my journey isn’t easy. Vulnerability trumps pride each time my finger hovers over the “publish” button.

Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become ‘fools’ so that you may become wise. 1 Corinthians 3:18

Still, I could see how vanity and pride might easily overpower humility. In today’s culture of instant gratification of thumbs up and hearts and comments of praise over social media posts, it is easy to get caught up in seeking the next quick euphoric high those accolades bring. The struggle is real.

How can I avoid the vanity trap of social media?  There aren’t many options. In truth, I can only think of two:

1. I could stop sharing my writing and my art. These are things I enjoy and feel confident in my ability to do successfully. They are also things I can improve on through study and practice. Sharing these passions isn’t necessary. However, these are also tools that could be used to build up others. 

2. I could share my writing and art with caution. It is important for me to prayerfully guard my heart against the desire for social praise. “What is the purpose of my post?” That question should be pondered every time - before pushing the publish button. Is this self-seeking or seeking to help others? 

Do I think that sharing how John and I began our love story is self-seeking? No. It has exposed a part of my life that I’d rather pretend never happened. Yet, in spite of my mistakes, God blessed me with two precious children and a partner who has been my best friend for the last twenty-five years.

Also, because of my poor choices and the victory of overcoming those mistakes, God could use my story to help someone else. It should always be this hope, this prayer, that makes me publish my work. If even one person found the courage to move forward because of something I shared, that would be better than a thousand social media likes.

I may never know who was helped by something I shared. Does that matter? No. Their victory is their story.

 Lord, I just want to thank you for the courage to share what you have done for me. It is sometimes a struggle to avoid getting caught up in social media praise. Please help me to always guard my heart against selfish pride. Help me to keep my eyes on what You want from me. Thank you for the gifts you have given me. Please help me to use those gifts for others rather than for myself.

Amen.

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Here are the other relevant bible verses found when I googled 'selfish' this morning:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. Romans 15:2

Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Proverbs 18:2

The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these. Mark 12:31

Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Psalm 119:36

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. Acts 20:24

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Mark 8:34