What IS Love?

 

Sharing a bonus post this week seems appropriate. I wrote this next study of words around 2013, after my husband and I moved to Clermont, FL.  We were learning how to be empty-nesters and getting to know people in our new community. I was struggling with evaluating who I was and who God meant for me to be. There were events in my childhood that caused such confusion around the meaning of love. When I saw that confusion in others, it broke my heart. This study was a result of evaluating those feelings.

Attraction, Lust, Sex, Faithfulness, & Love

One is an emotion. The others are actions. None are the same thing.

Emotion = an immediate response to a situation. Emotion is not a choice.

Action = a choice to do something.

Attraction is an emotion.

There are a lot of beautiful, witty, talented people in this world, both male and female. I don’t know about you, but those things attract me. Attraction is not lust. Attraction is not love.

Lust is not an emotion. Lust is an action.

Lust is taking attraction to another level. Lust is choosing to dwell on an attraction and imagine where that attraction could go. Lust is not love.

I like the way 1 John 2:16 in the Amplified Bible, Classic Edition breaks this down.

¹⁶ For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh [craving for sensual gratification] and the lust of the eyes [greedy longings of the mind] and the pride of life [assurance in one’s own resources or in the stability of earthly things]—these do not come from the Father but are from the world [itself].

Lust takes three forms here. There is lust that most people think of – extreme desire for sensual gratification. There is lust that craves what we see and don’t have (someone or something). There is the lust of pride – that craves an unhealthy dependence on ourselves or things we think we want.

Sex is an action.

Sex is a choice to participate in an act of physical intimacy. When sex is not a choice, the term is assault. Sex is not love.

Faithfulness is an action.

Faithfulness is still not love. It is an action we take as part of love. I choose to be faithful to my husband because I love him.

This is the Merriam-Webster definition of faithful:

1faith•ful - adjective \ˈfāth-fəl\

: having or showing true and constant support or loyalty.

: deserving trust: keeping your promises or doing what you are supposed to do

: not having sex with someone who is not your wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend.

Love is an action.

Love is a choice we make in how we act toward others. Love has been described perfectly in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I want to love and be loved by that definition.